Letter to YOU

I haven’t felt the keys of a computer keyboard for a long time. How nice is to feel them again when, after a few days of disappearance, the taste and smell came back again I am alive again and feel the blood flowing through the veins again with the full range of spices.

What do I want to talk about after so many months?

About you. I want to talk about you, Soul.

I have already mentioned many times that my favorite pastime since my childhood, in my free time, was dreaming. What can a child dream of? He dreams about everything that is infinitely beautiful. Personally, I dreamed of a world of peace, empathy, understanding, support, and most importantly, love for everything. For every creation and every little detail.

Today I am on the threshold of 41 years. I have seen a great deal of both good and evil. Both truth and untruth. Both joy and pain. Both satisfaction and endless frustration. Sometimes I had to wipe even that through the decades of my beloved life.

It is said that the dog is getting used to it. Maybe. But getting used to the great disappointments when you believe in heart and soul, is so hard, that you won’t even say it in words. I had to live with it and…

In any case, I am guided by only one idea and the main one is: we have ONLY ONE opportunity in this body and we must extract the deepest meaning and joy from it. We must live to the fullest, feel every detail that gives us pleasure, hope and a real feeling.

I will be 41 in a few days. Another step towards the unexpected second half of life. Not expected not because of experience. Unexpected because of the body, which, however, kicks in and shows its lived marks and traces.

I smile and keep repeating that when I turn 40, I can only be surprised by one thing: sincerity. And I am sure that those who have seen life will agree with it: sincerity is a perfect gift, especially today, in a world full of hypocrisy, masks and deductions.

So. I turn to You, Soul. Yours, mine, or someone else is not so important. The point is to you.

After all the path that Life has given me, I have experienced an infinite amount of joy,
but by analogy, disappointment. I touched for months of happiness, but at the same time year-round
frustration. I saw, I knew and I sought meaning, and then a whole year followed with a complete shattering of hopes. You. Everything.

I think it is fully right to say that no branch of a tree will reach the paradise if the roots do not touch the hell. I totally agree with that. We will never realize true joy without tasting real pain. 

After a collapse is it very difficult to recover, to stand up and find the strength to go further. And not just how to go, but with security and absolutely confident. What does it take? – it would seem very little - just make friends with yourself. That is where the essence of this whole monologue lies. Make friends with yourself. When and how can this happen?

Mostly, unfortunately, through inhumanly complex experiences and pains. He who is unbroken is able. And to the ability often have to go through real internal wars, endless misfortunes, grievances, frustrations, clashes to the bottom, various physical suicides, various, specially caused deaths for the soul...

We must live each of our own crosses individually. Some of us don’t make it and die, for example, because of unrequited love or because of the physical infidelity they experienced (which I absolutely do not believe) in their flesh and blood... or because of an unvoiced sentiment when you are truly loved...

Ever since I was little, I dreamed of being loved like a princess by a real prince. My Dad loved my Mom as a Queen. At least I saw it that way. For a child living in such an environment, it is natural to lay down rules about personal relationships.

I have been living on that basis for 40 years and even though everything has changed, a lot has collapsed.

But. I still believe that there are Kings who love their Queens with all their souls and there is no jealousy, no doubt, no suspicion in that relationship. Absolute harmony, respect, trust, understanding, listening, perception, feeling and... Love live in the relationship between the Queen and the King. Absolute love and freedom!

You ask me, what is freedom in a relationship? Yes, I will answer you. IF YOU WANT TRUE RELATIONSHIP AND TRUE LOVE, GIVE ABSOLUTE FREEDOM TO BE without any trial, condemnation or mince words. ONLY THAT KEEPS LOVE ALIVE. TRUE LOVE IS FREE ONLY IN THIS WAY.

Give the other complete freedom to be himself and see what happens. Well, and if you’re not on that person’s path, don’t get angry. Need to move. Life and the Universe themselves put everything in their places. BE FREE AND RELEASE WHAT IS NOT YOURS. DISCOVER THAT WHAT CANNOT EXIST WITHOUT YOU.

With sincere wishes and thanks for your attention before my next birthday approaches.

Piki